Written by: Malaika Lee
I grew up in a home where embracing and caring for your natural hair was the norm. Throughout her childhood, my mother had a relaxer in her hair and continued getting them up until she arrived at college.
After arriving at Howard University, also known as “The Mecca,” she was immediately in awe of the creative and expressive ways people wore their hair. The creativity and confidence were unmatched. From that moment on, she knew that she wanted to go natural and so began her natural hair journey.
Going natural was one of the best decisions of her life. It gave her a newfound sense of freedom and confidence–not just because she was natural, but because she was finally deciding on how to wear and care for her hair in a place where she felt safe. I wouldn’t realize until later how deeply her story would impact me.
When it was my turn to choose a college, my mother’s story stuck with me. I knew attending an HBCU was my dream. I applied as a mechanical engineering major because I’m a complete math nerd and longed for a stable career. As a mechanical engineer I knew I would learn lots of technical skills that could be transferred into tons of different industries which, sealed the deal for me. Think aerospace, consumer goods, automotive, and of course tech. Having options was a must for my indecisive yet ambitious nature.
When I thought about where to go, attending North Carolina A&T State University was a no brainer. I mean, it’s not ranked as the top producer of black engineers for nothing. Aggie Pride! What I wasn’t prepared for was how much of my time this ambitious choice would demand.
From the moment I stepped onto campus at NCA&T, I knew I was home. It’s a very fashion-forward university, with hair being a prominent part of every outfit. I watched in awe as students wore tons of styles, constantly changing their hair to match the vibe of the outfit they were wearing. While I’ve always loved fashion, I wasn’t very versatile with my hair because I lacked the confidence to experiment with it. College felt like the perfect time to learn and care for my natural hair, but my course load quickly made that a challenge.
Mechanical engineering was a lot more demanding than other majors as it required a lot of studying, the course load was heavy, the classes were long, and the learning curve was steep. I noticed that many girls in my major, including myself, kept their hair in styles that were pretty easy to manage, styles like mini twists, braids, and the occasional twist out or wash and go. While girls that majored in business, psychology, or communications usually had more expressive hairstyles and changed them more often.
My struggle was real. Freshman year, I lived in a communal dorm, which meant wash days were a daunting task. By the time I was done washing my hair, I often just settled for a high puff, which was cute, but it was also a lot easier than brainstorming a new style. Eventually, comments about how I “only had one style” started to trickle in and get to me. It impacted my confidence. My grades were a top priority, of course, but my mental health and self-image started to take a hit.
When the constant high puffs started breaking off the back of my hair during my sophomore year, I knew it was time for a change. I had to become more intentional, even though it was one of my most strenuous semesters yet, balancing tough classes, club meetings, and an internship. It was time I prioritized myself.
After some trial and error, I finally found a solution that worked for me. I started scheduling my wash days on my Google Calendar, just like my study sessions and club meetings. Sounds pretty typical for a STEM student, I know. Lol. But I had to learn to treat my hair as a non-negotiable. And because of it, the health of both my hair and my mental health flourished. I started experimenting with twist-outs and wash-and-go’s and even made time to get knotless braids and faux locs from stylists in my dorm. I eventually found my go-to styles: wash-and-go’s, knotless braids, faux locs, and, of course, my faithful high puff.
This wasn’t a seamless change. There were still times when homework and exams took precedence, and my hair had to take a backseat. But because I was so intentional, I could plan my hairstyles around the busiest time of the semester. My grades stayed afloat, and I learned to trust myself to be both ambitious and expressive. My hair proved that I didn’t have to choose.
Fast forward to now, I am beyond confident in my natural hair. In fact, it’s now my favorite part of any outfit I wear. I even wore it to my graduation, a personal love letter to the very degree that taught me how to prioritize myself while chasing my goals.
As I step into the corporate world, in a space where I know I may be the only one or one of few, I plan to keep that same confidence. I’ll rock my wash and go’s, my braids, and any hairstyle that feels right in the moment. I’ll rock my wash and go’s, my braids, and any hairstyle that feels right in the moment.
My mother gave me the foundation to be confident in my natural hair. My journey to becoming an engineer taught me the strength to stand in it.
To all the ambitious naturals out there carving out space in this world, I see you.
Here’s to hair that’s as limitless as our dreams.
